We're In This Together (Rhian and Conner)

Rhian walked down the deserted hallway, a stack of books in her arms. It was Saturday, most students were out for the day, enjoying the gentle fall of snow, or visiting Hogsmeade. But she'd convinced Conner to spend the day with her in a very different way.

Opening the last door on the left, she was faced with an empty classroom. There were a few of them here and there, if you were curious enough to explore them. Most were rather bare, a spare book here, some notes on parchment there. She liked this one especially though because, for some reason, it was always at a perfectly comfortable temperature. Perhaps some lingering magic from decades ago. No matter, it made the time go by easier.

It didn't take long to unpack her bag, dispersing her materials on the largest table in the room. She didn't really have too much to work on, at least that was due soon. A few essays and long term projects. And Rhian had no idea if she'd be any help to Conner at all, but it was the thought she was going for. Them being able to spend time together like this.

She glanced down at her clock, wondering when he would show up. They hadn't planned on a specific time, really. Just that they would meet somewhere around noon. She took a seat in one of the chairs and opened one of her potions books.

Rhian was lucky that she was pretty and that he loved her. This had to be the most painful Saturday of his life. Oh all the things that they could do, all she had suggested was to study, so they could keep their grades up. He wasn't that stupid not to notice that when she said "they" she meant him.

He had slacked off the beginning of the year, failing to attend any of the first month's classes. He couldn't find himself to really move the first few weeks. The summer had made him realize that he had little to offer to the world, to her, to himself. After losing his mother, his rock in his world, everything had tilted off axis. He didn't want to tell Rhian, to whine about how the word was unfair because he lost his mom. She had lost her parents, and her sister, and it would seem stupid of him to say it. So he kept quiet, he kept many things quiet.

For one, he had no flat to live in; he couldn't possibly afford the price of a flat when he had no job, especially to pay it off during the school year. He barely had scrapped enough for his books. He had pushed away the government's help to offer a foster home. He didn't need that, he didn't need to move to his father who would be forced to take him off, or some poor stranger that took in kids for the money. He wasn't a kid, he was legally an adult now, and he would take care of things himself.

His car, he thanked Merlin was what gave him some kind of shelter. Magic made it possible to transfigure things to gas, something that kept his car running and made his escape from reality all the easier. Ben had helped him out on that, by letting him park his baby in his mansion during the school year. And despite how much he loved his car, he was glad for a bed. He used distractions like sleep and Rhian to avoid going to classes.

But he had slacked off enough, where now Rhian was worried. He sighed as his thoughts floated around, as he looked through the doors he noticed she was no where in sight. Finally on the last one, he found his girlfriend preparing the classroom for their painful session.

Rhian had been flipping through pages, looking for the passage she knew was in here somewhere. Sticking her quill between her teeth to use both hands, she grabbed at another book in her pile, opening it to the table of contents. Her eyes flicked up towards the door once before going back, seeing Conner standing there. Mouth splitting in to a grin, she pulled the quill out of her mouth and stood.

"Hey, good morning." There was no reason to whisper, since they had every right to be here, but her tone was soft. In the silence of the large room, and the quiet that winter brings, she felt no reason to be overly loud. Her eyes softening, she could tell Conner really didn't want to be here.

"It won't be that bad," her voice held a bit of a laugh, "I promise." Her foot steps were soft on the stone in her slippers. Dark skinny jeans and a long cream sweater kept her warm and comfortable. Reaching him, on of her hands came up to his side, comforting, as she stood up on her toes to plant a kiss at the corner of his mouth.

"Come on," she said, slipping her free hand in his and moving towards the table.

Conner bit back a sigh seeing that in no way it was an innuendo. In his wildest dreams he hoped that Rhian was just kidding and it was really a date. It wasn't. He let the bag slide down his shoulder, not even bothering to hide his despair. His blue eyes dimmed, even as she was looking at him happily. She was a good girlfriend, but sometimes it was painful to do things he didn't want to do.

"Hey, good morning." Rhian said happily.

"Hey" he said tiredly.

It was obvious that he wasn't happy to be there. As she promised that it wouldn't be that bad, Conner raised his brow obviously not believing her. Why couldn't she just let him stay in bed and sleep? School didn't matter, nothing really mattered, he just needed to escape all of this.

And as Rhian walked towards him, he shook his head, knowing that he was whipped. Sighing he shook his head and knew that from the moment that his heart beat faster at her. She looked beautiful and it made him wonder why she was still with him because he wasn't in his best either. He had lost weight, his once heart appetite would become more rationed. He didn't want to eat at first, his mother's loss killed his appetite, his spirt, his everything. His pants had become looser, and he was just tired all the time.

His thoughts changed, the moment she walked forward and reach out to him. As she placed her hands on his shoulders, a tired smile appeared on his face. When Rhian leaned upwards and kiss the corner of his mouth, he leaned tilted his head and aimed to her lips, taking advantage of the moment.

"Oh fine" he said after pulling away. He followed her and sitting down on the larger table across from her. He pulled out his books, his scrolls and quills ready to try and work it out. He had procrastinated and now essays sadly were due.

"Will it be quiet time?"

Rhian let a grin spread across her face as she walked ahead of Conner to the table. The fingers of her free hand moved up to her mouth, touching her lips where his had just been. Even now, over a year after they had patched things up and gotten back together, his kisses left her tingly and hopeful.

Resuming her spot on the bench, she felt the heat leaving her cheeks. At his words, Rhian couldn't help but laugh a little. "Of course not! What's the fun in studying together if we can't talk?" She really had to wonder if he'd ever done this before. Maybe he was the type to sit in his dorm and do his work. She'd never really seen him at the library, so he had to do it somewhere.

Picking up her quill, she opened the last book she'd grabbed, flipping through the pages as she spoke.

"How about we play a game, eh?" She shot a look over at him, a twinkle in her eyes. "For every inch of parchment you fill, you get five minutes off. That goes for both of us." It wouldn't do to make it seem like this was all about him. "And we can chunk them together. Three inches, fifteen minutes. That way, it doesn't seem like we're going at this forever."

It was something she'd started doing last year, when the stress of O.W.L.S. was getting to be too much. Starting this early in the day, they could make the whole day a mix of spending time together and actually getting stuff done.

Conner felt a swell of pride as she looked so flustered after he had kissed her. She always reciprocated his kisses, but was always acted surprised at their actions. He never understood it, but so long as she was okay with them doing this, was enough for him. She might not be the most demonstrative or push for affection, but she liked it and that was good enough for him.

As she said that they would talk and actually space this out, Conner gave her a half smile. Well it wasn't going to be as painful as he thought it would be. Talking to her would soften the pain of having to actually pay attention. At least they had that. Sighing, he agreed to her terms, simply because it would stop being so painful.

"You're lucky you're cute" he said sighing, "but I'll follow your terms. You drive a hard deal."

Opening up the potions book, he began to write the essay that he had lagged on far too long. Putting a quill between his teeth, he leaned against his arm and began to read. He was really behind, and in all honestly, it was all making sense now that he was reading why it had been complicated before.

They both sat in silence for a bit, reading their respective texts. Rhian wasn't sure how she could really be of help to Conner just yet, and thought maybe just forcing him to study and being supportive may help. With this thought, she had dove into her essay about the Amortentia Potion. While she felt no need to ever use the potion on someone, what with the handsome boy sitting across from her, she wondered what she'd smell, if presented with a sample.

Looking over at Conner, she smiled with an idea. She'd written four inches of her essay, having read some before he arrived, and sat up straight, her arms reaching above her head to stretch out her back. Rhian stood quietly, not wanting to disturb him if he was intently reading, and walked over to his side of the table. Her movements were slow as she wound her arms around his shoulders, resting her head on his.

"Hows it going?" He hadn't done as much, but it seemed like there was at least something there to show for their time so far. Leaning her head down to be level with his, she whispered into his ear. "Break time." A soft laugh escaped her.

"You know," she mused "if I'd had this idea months ago, maybe you wouldn't have fallen so behind." Sure, she wasn't his keeper. But it was a valid thought, and one that made her feel a bit sad, that she hadn't been able to find a solution until now. She was still surprised sometimes how much she cared about the boy in her arms. How completely he had crawled his way into her heart.

Potions was his weakest subject, and if he was honest with himself the only reason he'd been doing "Outstanding" in potions thanks to Benjamin. He tried really hard to make something out of himself, his mother wanted her to do it. Hell, even though his mother didn't really understand how grades worked in his school was proud that he was passing and had a life in the magical community.

Thinking of his mother he noticed that while it still hurt, even months after it happened, he couldn't stop it. He felt as thought he was living for her, making his success their success. And that's what first let Rhian push him. He didn't have to do it, in fact he could have made up something to avoid it. But in reality, he wanted Rhian's contact, and he wanted to do better. He knew she was good for him.

"How's it going?

Conner looked up and smiled at her, looking down at how much he had actually written. Half a scroll, he was proud of himself. Despite how his mind wandered he had found himself working on his essay. Leaning back against his chair, he sighed in relief. At least it was moving along.

At her whispering he turned to face her and grinned lazily at her. He was glad at how she was comfortable around him. Sure not exactly how comfortable he'd like, but it worked nicely. Leaning forward he winked happy at their break time.

"You know," she mused "if I'd had this idea months ago, maybe you wouldn't have fallen so behind."

Her words, took the sweetness out of the moment. Leaning back, he crossed his arms, unwittingly showing that he was kind of defensive over her words. He didn't want to depend on anyone on his success nor his failures. And yes, he was lazy, but at the same time, he had a damn good reason. She didn't know, and so he forced himself not to be angry, but it did sting.

"Maybe" he said vaguely avoiding eye contact. "Maybe not"

Rhian looked on as Conner seemed to close in on himself. A right feat for someone built like he was. His words were a bit mumbled, but she could read the furrow of his brow clear enough. Moving to sit beside him, facing him, she lifted a hand to rest on his crossed arms. Reassuring, not demanding.

"Please. Don't." It had taken a while for his actions to become so obvious. Months, even, before Rhian knew when he was shutting her out. She'd been through enough to know that being angry with him wouldn't solve anything. But, if she was honest with herself, she didn't know what to do now.

Trying to remind herself to be open and thoughtful, Rhian wondered if he would ever really trust her enough to tell her what was going on. It had been almost a year now since she'd felt really close to him. And while she still loved him, since she knew he was the same boy deep down, she was afraid of what could be changing him so much. Maybe...maybe he was regretting giving them another go.

Her eyes were wide and hopeful. "Conner," her voice was soft, "please don't shut down again. I didn't mean to...well, I don't know. I just...I want to help."

"Conner," her voice was soft, "please don't shut down again. I didn't mean to...well, I don't know. I just...I want to help."

Conner closed his eyes as he heard her tone. He knew that he was hurting her and without meaning to. But the fact that he had fallen behind, the fact that he wasn't at his best frustrated him. Even in Quidditch he felt distracted, and they had even lost the last game to the Slytherin team. Everything that he used to protection to avoid reality was crumbling before him. He took in a sharp breath and put the quill down.

There was an elephant in the room, and he wasn't doing any good by trying to pretend that it wasn't, especially if it was hurting Rhian. He looked up and wondered why he didn't want to tell her.

"I...I don't want to burden you with my baggage Rhian" he said softly, nothing but truth dripping from his words. "You don't...I don't want you to pity me to...it's too much"

Baggage. She almost wanted to laugh at that. Had Rhian not dumped her own baggage all over this boy, just for him to see past all that to the person that she really wanted to be? He was there when she was confused about her parent's deaths. He was there when her sister was taken from her. Even after she caused him so much pain, he'd been willing to give them another chance.

The rest of his words, though, tugged at her heart. She wanted nothing more than to wrap herself around him and force all the pain from him. But he probably wouldn't welcome that.

"I could never pity you, Conner."

She was more confused than ever. What could have happened that she would pity him for? Sure, he'd let his grades slide. But she was more worried about his health, mentally and physically, right now. It was what worried her most.

"I just don't like seeing you hurt. And I want to be there for you. With you. If...if you'll let me." Who knew if any of this would matter. For all she knew, he was about to break up with her. Or tell her his dog ran away...if he had one. Or maybe....Merlin, she had no idea.

Conner ran his fingers through his hair. The conversation that he was avoiding all this time, was now on the table, because he couldn't keep his trap shut. He didn't dare look up at her, the silence was enough for him to tell that the studying was either dismissed and enforced more than ever to ignore the awkwardness.

Sure she had trusted him enough to tell him all her problems, and he had been there every step of the way. But that was because he was the rock, why would he burden her with things that he had to deal with alone. Men didn't cry right? And he knew that if he did tell her it'd be a dam that he had built over time, he had tried to heal. But as the year was halfway done, his grades weren't reflecting how he'd been.

"I could never pity you, Conner." she whispered so sweetly.

He looked up at her shyly, still not sure if he should even bother hiding something from her when she was the smartest person he knew. She was good with the sensitive stuff that he was always overthinking, and she always nurtured him, which she appreciated more than he could ever admit. The best thing that had happened to him was that he was starving at midnight, three years ago and met the new girl.

"I just don't like seeing you hurt. And I want to be there for you. With you. If...if you'll let me."

That's when he realized that he was doing more damage by the way he was acting. Obviously he wasn't a good enough actor, because she noticed. Did he love this girl? Obviously so. And he figured if he saw a future with her, he should be honest with her now.

"I...I haven't been happy for a long time" he finally let out. "I feel like...like my whole world crashed and I just...I've been wanting to fix it by ignoring it, but I'm not happy."

He tugged his hair a little bit, forcing his brain to articulate how he felt in a way she would get and he wouldn't bitch out and start crying.

"I'm alone" he finally let out admitting it, his eyes watering. "My mom she...she's gone. She's gone"

Saying it out loud, made it very clear, and the sting was stronger than ever. It was real, he was absolutely alone, the strongest woman, his hero, slipped through his fingers.

The resignation was practically radiating off Conner as Rhian saw him looking at her. But nothing she could have thought would ever prepare her for what came out of the boy in front of her. As he started talking about how he felt, something she knew he hated, the Gryffindor felt more hopeless by the second.

She'd known he was unhappy. Rhian had been down that road herself. But...she always assumed she'd be able to tell if it was getting really bad. Bad in the way that it had for her. Honestly, it was why she was speaking up now. Why she was pushing him to tell her. Because she had seen the physical toll it was having on him. How he'd push his food around on his plate at meals. How his eyes rarely lit up anymore. It settled like lead in her own heart.

She waited, breath caught, waiting for him to say that he was unhappy with them. With her. His actions confused her, though. And it took her a minute to realize just exactly what he was saying.

She's gone.

Questions raced through her mind. What had happened?! When?! Why did he hide this from her? But none of those mattered right now. She felt tears pricking at her own eyes as her heart physically hurt for him. She'd never seen him like this, so didn't really know how to help. So, she did the only thing she could think of.

Moving out of her chair, she took the two steps to stand in front of him. He was still so tall, even when in a chair, that the height difference wasn't too much. She couldn't help herself as her arms snaked around him in a warm hug. It wasn't much, but it was all she could give him.

To be honest, Conner wasn't expecting much. If he didn't know what to say when she had lost her parents, he didn't think she could either. Because if he was honest with himself, he loved his mother and she verbally loved him back, something that Rhian didn't have. Hearing her talk about her past, and how cold her parents was a new experience, he didn't know that not everyone was as lucky as he was. Because despite only having one parent, she played both roles, loved twice as much, encouraged twice as much, and sacrificed double. And he learned her appreciate his mother all the more. She never remarried, instead devoting her life to him, and in the end she died before any real accomplishments came from him. All she left him was the assurance that he would do good. And what was he doing?

Looking down at his papers he saw the scrolls of unfinished work he had lagged and procrastinated in his wallowing. It was stupid, she would have yelled at him for breaking his promise. In his thoughts he was oblivious to Rhian moving. He didn't want to look at her, in fear he would start crying. He didn't cry, men didn't do that, and he wasn't going to do that now. But as she wrapped her skinny arms around him, he couldn't help but press himself against her, holding her close and closing his eyes tight.

"She'd be so mad at me" he whispered against chest, not daring to open them. "All the work I've been lagging. If she knew, she'd hit the back of my head and-and" he couldn't continue.

A broken laugh came out of his mouth that soon pushed for tears to fall out. He pressed himself harder as his body shook. It didn't matter how big he was, how strong he was physically, he had lost the one person who never once wavered on him. Who never once treated him anything other than special, and despite his normalcy, she knew he was worth more. It was so embarrassing, to cry, he cursed as he did so, and apologized profusely to his girlfriend.

Rhian couldn't help her own tears falling. She'd known it had to be something bad, for Conner to react like this. But she never imagined something like this could happen. Not to him. She'd never met his mother, but he'd told such stories. Of love. Of happiness. And now...he'd lost all of that. Reality floated around them, pressed upon them like a suffocating cloud.

Feeling Conner practically clinging to her, Rhian let a hand move up to card in his hair, cradling him to her. Her head fell to press a kiss on his forehead as her other hand rubbed circles on his back. She couldn't imagine how it felt for him to finally tell her, to tell someone.

Hearing his words, spoken so fondly, even with the gravity of them, she couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her. Even under these circumstances, Conner was still himself. The Hufflepuff with the big appetite and even bigger heart. The boy she loved.

"If it would help, I can do that for you," a small smile tugged at her lips as the smell of his shampoo filled her senses. "But I think she would be proud of you."

Her words were honest. Leaning back from him just enough to guide his face up to look at her, she moved her hands to wipe at his tears.

"She'd be proud of who you are, and who you can be, Conner. She loved you." Her forehead rested against his as she tried to really absorb what was happening.

Conner sobbed into her chest, finally finding the comfort he desperately begged but did nothing about it. He wished he had told her sooner, but it was his baggage to carry not hers. Still, holding her close, her small body sent waves of comfort that he knew was uniquely hers. Despite her beauty, what he did love most about her was the fact that she had a big heart, and she was willing to hold him in there. He didn't know what he did to deserve her, and he wasn't going to question it. He needed that bit of happiness, and he knew that she was the only good thing in a world of hell that he was dealing with.

Her perfume wafted around him creating that haven and he would thank her later when he had enough control to stop the tears from falling. For now, he took comfort in the slight rocking motion that she did. He felt sorry for wetting her shirt, but he just wanted to hold her.

"If it would help, I can do that for you," a small smile tugged at her lips as the smell of his shampoo filled her senses. "But I think she would be proud of you."

He sniffled a bit said nothing, but listened to everything she had to say. Despite his sadness, he did feel the need to laugh. She was so good to him, too good, and he was so lucky. As she pulled away a bit, and wiped his tears, he closed his eyes, letting her soft hands caress his cheeks and he nuzzled them. Looking up at her, he sought out her eyes, which always shined so beautifully to him, and from the blurry viewpoint he had he noticed that she did care. Her own eyes were shining with tears and he squeezed her hips softly.

"She would have loved you" he whispered, "she knew about you and she knew you were special, she told me so. I wish she would have met you, and loved you like I do"

Rhian smiled softly at the way Conner leaned into her comfort. Sure, they weren't as public or overboard with their physical affection, like some, but she loved this part of him. That he could let himself be open with her and allow her to see this side of him. That meant the world to her.

She felt his hold on her hips strengthen, and she couldn't help the small thrill that ran through her blood. It was comfortable, his hands around her like that, but it was still very new. But it was his words that melted her heart.

Her smile was soft, genuine and comforting, as his words flowed around her. She really didn't know what to say to that. Of course she wished she had met his mother. As terrifying as it would have been for her, since he loved her so much, Conner's mother was a big part of his life. And Rhian knew how much it meant to him. Would have meant.

Her lips touched his in a soft kiss. "I love you, you know?" It wouldn't scare the darkness away, but those words were like a warmth in her soul. That she could say it to him and know he returned the feeling. "But you're not allowed to keep secrets again," her mouth tugged up into a small half smile.

After he had said the words, he knew they were true. His mother always told him that if he wasn't moving on from her, when they had broken up, it meant something. She always told him to wait it out, either it would die, or it would still linger on, and if it did to fight for it. She had been romantic, despite her bad luck and she rooted him on. Always his cheerleader, always teasing him through their owls how maybe she should start saving for a wedding. That woman was the sun in his life, and let the world know it.

But the sun had set, and he knew that he had a new sun growing all again from the girl in his arms. Especially when she smiled the way she was smiling now. It was a genuine one, not one of sheer happiness like she did when he told her a stupid joke, but one where a silent conversation would be said through it. It wasn't a smile for the world, it was a smile for him. He let out a shy one, embarrassed for crying and for being so weak in front of her.

"Sorry" he whispered softly lifting his hand to wipe his tears.

"I love you, you know?"

He smiled at her words, a more genuine smile, and leaned forward, to kiss what she could reach of her softly. It was not a kiss of lust, but one to show genuine affection, one of love.

"I know" he murmured. "I love you more than you will ever know"