Valentine's Day (Jari)

Valentines day had not featured in the witch's life since she was a little kid. Marilyn had never been dating someone over the holiday, thus had absolutely no idea what to do. She'd spent her morning working in her lab and pouring over her books. The cuffs were making progress, but she still needed more time.

Around noon she got showered and changed and began her own little Valentines 'gift' for Jake, who would be joining her before she knew it. Her 'gift' was a bit risky on her part, but to her great joy (and surprise) everything turned out perfectly. She'd decided a simple, romantic dinner for two would be nice and appropriate. So Mari had, all on her own, managed to make spaghetti carbonara and for dessert a Tatte Pistachio Cherry Tart and nothing had burnt!

When he came home the witch had finished setting the table and had lit two candles and dimmed the lighting for atmosphere. The food was already on the table under a warming charm and Marilyn brushed her curls back as she walked into the hallway where she was greeted with an interesting sight that caused pleasant surprise to riddle her features.

"Jake? Are you behind the plethora of flowers or did they decide to hijack your body as a host?" Mari quipped with a wry smile, leaning against the doorframe to the darkened dining room, "I've got a little something, too, but first I want a kiss,"

(mari)

"I brought you flowers."

"I can see that," she smiled, "Thank you." As the explenation came that he had literally bought one of every flower in the shop just so that he wouldn't miss her favorite she felt a surge of affection the brought an even happier grin to the witch's features.

"You are the sweetest," Mari remarked as she kissed him back once and then twice. With a smug smirk she nodded, "I have indeed, this time with no house elf help whatsoever. And it's your favorite, if I remembered correctly."

She took him by the hand and carefully led him into the dining room, "Ta da..." she said softly, letting him take it in, "Also the wine on the table is more symbolic, there's a beer in the fridge." the witch chuckled, gently taking the flowers and putting them in three vases around the dining room.

"This... looks wonderful!"

Marilyn beamed at his approval and flicked her wand to add some water to the vases, purposefully not yet telling him her favorite flower, though she'd spotted it in the mass of the bouquet.

The witch would enlighten him later.

Taking a seat opposite Jake she thanked him for pouring the wine and smiled at his question, "Uneventful, no breakthroughs, calm. Full of contemplating whether to...text you...whilst you're working, but I figured you could wait," the witch smirked, picking up her wine glass, "So, to us?" She proposed the toast with a satisfied smile. Then they could dig in.

"But what were the texts I missed out on?"

"Oh, you know..." Marilyn faux shrugged it off and began eating. The perk to making the food was that she got to make her own, small, serving size. After swallowing she grinned, "Just some pictures...some texts...no big deal," Mari teased, lifting another forkful to her lips.

His compliments made her grin and finally laugh, "I'm glad you like it, though I doubt it's as good as your mom's. if the christmas dinner was any standard to go by I'll never catch up to her, but thank you." Twirling more pasta onto her fork she let him finish before asking, "How was your day? Hand out any detention?" The words were lighthearted and teasing, Marilyn was well aware that Jake wasn't really the punishing type, but it was fun to tease.

And it brought images to mind that she decided were probably better for another time. The slightly flush of her cheeks was the only betrayed of her thoughts.

Marilyn was quiet, not letting her concern show as her playful banter went straight over his head. Something was off, very off, with Jake. He didn't seem as relaxed as he usually would be, nor was he flirting like he usually did, every joke just bounced off him.

As he continued to talk the concern did furrow the witch's eyebrows slightly, tilting her head, eyes crinkling critically in thought as he took another sip of his drink. But soon an answer, or part of an answer, came from the wizard and it clicked in Marilyns brain.

"Did you... do you want me to take you out this evening? Or... What would you like to do when we've finished dinner?"

Marilyn shook her head and stood from her seat, walking around to his side of the table and carefully situating herself to sit on his lap, her hands cupping his face, "Please, relax," she murmured, "I've never done this before, either. I just want to be with you. Is this what's bothering you? Because you seem so off today and I'm getting a little concerned?" Each remark was punctuated with a gently kiss to his cheek, his other cheek, his forehead and finally his lips, looking into his eyes. Her hands moved from his face to gently ub his shoulders.

"I was... a little bit scared that you wouldn't be here when I arrived."

"...this is my flat. Why would I not be in my flat?" She asked, confused by his words and fears, but in no way did her tone implicate that his fear was silly; she took him seriously. As always. Further words followed and Marilyn's puzzled expression turned to some measure of understanding. Or the attempt to anyhow. Especially after last year...what had happened last- oh. Oh. Oh no.

"But... but now I have you, and I tried, but I think I messed up. I... have messed up now, anyway."

In Marilyns head the sentences read as 'But now I have you and I tried but you're not her.'

So this uneasiness was because of...well, her. Marilyn for her part generally tried to ignore her existence and her past role in Jake's life for two simple reasons. One, because she had been the one to introduce them indirectly and now Marilyn was dating her ex and that was awkward on so many levels. And two, whilst Marilyn didn't know the details of the end, and didn't want to know, she knew enough. And that was enough to plan a tiny, tiny, tiny seed of doubt in her mind, like she was only second best and would always only be second best.

"I'm so sorry."

He was sorry... Marilyn felt her breath catch in her throat. Oh Merlin, this was her worst nightmare. Was he upset because he missed her? And this holiday had reminded him of that? Was he sorry that he'd let this continue on? Oh God, but he'd told her he loved her. They were moving in together? Was that all just because he couldn't have...better? Was she a consolation prize, she just wanted to make him happy she loved him, more than anyone.

Oh Merlin, Oh Merlin, Oh-

"Merlin, I- I- I think I'm going to be sick." Marilyn pried herself free and quickly walked to the bathroom, her face hidden by her hair and her voice shaken. Finally in the bathroom she fell to her knees before the toilet but nothing happened, it was just the feeling. Her lungs constricting, stomach churning, throat choking up. All the symptoms of having to throw up or having a panic attack.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," she murmured to herself, pressing one palm to her forehead, all she wanted was Jake to come in and reassure her.

Marilyn flinched when he touched her and pulled away slightly, both from the toilet and from him, trying to stop damn near hyperventilating.

"Do you love me? I mean, I'm serious, tell me if you mean it, because if I'm just second best to you because you can't have her then- then just say that." The witch was just staring at her tiled floor and her head was spinning and she thought perhaps this was what a heart attack feels like.

"And God, if that's not what you meant then say that, because that's- that's what it sounds like so if you're sorry you let us get this far then- then you are really fucking- You- I love you," the last three words made her voice break slightly.

"I meant... oh, Mari."

He pressed his lips to hers and she kissed him back, her arms going around his neck as she kissed him back passionately, pulling close to him. And when he began explaining she buried her face in his neck, holding on close as she cried. But it wasn't normal crying, it was dry, just dry sobs that came out of a mixture of self-loathing and relief.

"...But I didn't know... How you do this. And, now, I've made my girlfriend believe that she isn't enough for me. We're sat on the bathroom floor for fucks sake. I'm sorry. You deserved better than this."

She shook her head and looked back up at him without letting him go, "No, no this wasn't all your fault I always- I wasn't enough for my parents, I'm not enough for Evan, I was never enough in any of my relationships I just- I get so used to not being enough that I assumed..."

"I love you, Marilyn. You're first, second and every number to follow."

"I love you, too, so much," Marilyn kissed him again and cuddled him close, unable to find the right words, "I'm so sorry for freaking out. I'm sorry."

Letting him pull her onto his lap she curled up and listened to is reassuring words and as she calmed down she felt an overwhelming sense of immense stupidity and blatant idiocy on her part. A shameful insecurity. She could just hear her grandfather scolding her. Caldwells didn't feel insecure, most certainly not about themselves.

"I feel so...stupid, there's no logical reason to feel so insecure," she shook her head, "I love you and I know you love me I just..." she sighed, he knew what she meant, what she felt. Even if she couldn't quite explain it now.

"You're my present and my future, Mari. Please... if you believe nothing else in the world just believe that."

The witch nodded and pressed her lips to his again, pulling him in close for a deep kiss, "Show me," she whispered, kissing him again, "Take me to bed," Another kiss, "And show me, please..."

This was probably not how to normally handle this kind of thing, but Marilyn didn't give a damn, this was what she needed, wanted. So that was what she asked for.