Hogwarts, A Future

Sixteen Years After the War has Ended, Two Wizarding Schools Exist. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and Salem Academy
 
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 So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)

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Rhian Holmes
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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Wed Oct 01, 2014 4:27 am

Relaxing in the comfort of Conner's embrace, Rhian was truly happy for the first time in three months. The weight of school, and responsibilities, and fixing her relationship with Tess, seemed to disappear as they sat there on the couch.

But it didn't last long. As they heard Ben moving downstairs, letting in whoever was at the door, she heard raised voices. A girl...

Oh, no.

Knowing what was coming, she sat up, her hand moving to Conner's for security. Her fear was confirmed as she saw Ben push Tess through the door and into their flat, closing it behind him. The yelling that ensued was beyond what Rhian would ever have expected from Tess, each word designed to cut deep.

Watching as Ben picked up the letter, the Gryffindor knew what he was reading. She'd read it herself. Her stomach dropped as she saw the look on his features. The boy she'd seen just minutes before was gone, replaced by someone that she didn't quite understand.

"Time to go," she whispered towards Conner. She stood then, pulling him along. Sure, he was in lounging clothes, but they couldn't stay here for this. And she sure as hell wasn't going to go hide in his room and overhear whatever was going to happen. No, she'd be a good friend and help Tess pick up the pieces after, but she knew the other girl had to fight this battle on her own.

Moving around the pair, she and Conner were able to finally make it out of the door and onto the street. Breathing in the fresh air, she still cursed herself for not bringing a coat.

"Well...this is going to be interesting."

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Wed Oct 01, 2014 4:31 am

Conner realized that despite the whole scene that this was all funny at one point, it had definitely turned for the worst. Whatever this was, this was going to end really badly, perhaps forever. Ben and Holmes tended to yo-yo back and forth and in some way, he felt that they would eventually end up together. And as sickening as it sounded, he would be okay with it so long as his friend was happy.

But this was slowly turning sour and he felt sick. It was embarrassing to see their dirty laundry being thrown about everywhere. Still, as Rhian signaled them to go, he could see the despair in Ben’s eyes that told him that maybe the idea of them being together wasn’t going to happen. And he knew he had said many times that that would be a perfect outcome but now…maybe not so much considering he looked very sad.

Grabbing Rhian’s hand they managed to escape the apartment and walk the streets. He was definitely not dressed appropriately for the streets of London, with his tank top and loose work out pants, he looked like he was kicked out…which he was. Pulling Rhian closer they could only walk and hope the fire would dim.

"I just hope the flat is in normal condition when I get back"

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Wed Oct 01, 2014 4:36 am


At the way he said he name, she moved back and teared up a bit, embarrassed at how his tone affected her, feeling like a child for yearning for the tenderness she knew. She was thankful that Rhian had the decency to pull Bailey away from the flat and out of their hair so they could talk. She was so tired; the reality of their situation was all the more clearer as she realized it had been four years since they yo-yoed to one another and it wasn't fair for her or him. She loved him, she really did, but it meant nothing if no foundation could be built from it.

His expression from despair angered her all the more; no, he wasn't going to be the hurt one, he wasn't going to become the vicim in this. She was the one that got rejected, she was the one that voiced her interest in him, like he had asked of her before. No, it wasn't fair for her.

"Don't use that tone on me" she breathed out, "You...you yelled at me before, as to why I never mentioned you before when they planned engagements for me, and you know what? You were right I never even thought of it before, but the one time I do, you rejected me. It's been four years Ben, I'm tired of this...it's not fair for me. There's only so many blows I'm willing to take and I forgave you for a lot. The Adler debacle, I overlooked the times you shagged her in our common room, the times you paraded her around the...the hurtful things we both said to one another. I love you..but I don't like you" she whispered softly.

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Wed Oct 01, 2014 4:52 am

Ben saw the tears, even if they didn't fall. He'd made her cry too many times to miss them. That realization, along with her words, really drove home the reality of their lives, as if every moment of their relationship had been leading to this. Of all of the hurtful things coming out of the girl in front of him, that one thought was what broke him.

None of it mattered. All of the stolen moments and the whispered promises. They meant nothing now, because he'd been a fool. He'd demanded everything from her - her trust, her faith, her love - and what had he given her? Heartache and rejection, even if the last bit was unintentional. There was no denying that it was a direct result of his own actions.

She backed away from him, and it felt like she'd walked miles, with the distance it put between them. He saw her slipping away, maybe for the last time, and he panicked.

"Tess, please," he choked on the words, his heart in his throat. "I didn't know...I never...Merlin, I didn't think it could actually happen!"

Ben's hands moved into his own hair, desperate for something to grab on to, the letter drifting softly to the floor. "Fuck! I dismissed them all, thinking there was no chance you could be one of them." He felt his own tears then, mirroring her own. One of his hands moved to his mouth, as if to stop the truth of the words coming out. "It's all my fault. I stopped believing and...Oh, Merlin..."

He turned then, walking the few steps so that he was in the open frame that separated the two rooms. One hand moved out to steady him against the wood as his eyes closed. He felt like he was going to be sick, and couldn't bare to look at the girl he loved. The girl he'd hurt so much.

Too much.

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Wed Oct 01, 2014 5:01 am


There it was, another excuse. She closed her eyes tightly letting herself have a moment to compose herself. She'd never known how angry she was getting, building slowly through the years. As a proper lady she'd just let him go on with his life, in some way thinking that nothing in those moments mattered when they were going good. When they were together and happy it was marvelous, the pain disappeared and she felt like this could last forever. Like those stolen kisses were a promise of a tomorrow together.

And maybe it was time for her to realize that life didn't work that way, that life was meant to just tell you when to let go. But Ben was had her heart, he had it from the moment he found her in her third year, reading a book and hiding from everyone. He saw her when no one ever did. And now she was seen, seen by many but her heart had already been given willingly, whether he wanted it or not. That was the part that hurt.

He had only promised her a forever once, the one time he put her in her place for not even suggesting him as a worthy candidate for her hand. But ever since then it was rather, whose mouth touched whose first and how much promise could be said by a heated kiss. It had perhaps been lust surrounding them, he'd gotten a taste of what non-committed relationships were from Adler, and she could never measure up.

"Tess, please," he choked on the words, his heart in his throat. "I didn't know...I never...Merlin, I didn't think it could actually happen!"

Her bottom lip wobbled, and she cursed as she let her tears really fall. That was them wasn't it? When they thought they were in the right page, life threw a wrench into it.

"Maybe it was time we both stopped believing in this" she whispered, "there's no point in trying if it's not happening...I'm so tired"

And she was. Since thirteen he was a crush that was unobtainable, and friendship had sufficed her until he kissed her. That was when she realized that her infatuation ran deeper, and from year after year it manifested itself into her weakest form. Love.

"What..what did you expect for us to move towards?" she asked confused, "Did you think that life would just gently bring us together? I made the work and you dismantled all of it!"

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Wed Oct 01, 2014 5:18 am

Silence. It filled the spaces around them and between them, giving meaning to all of those hidden places inside of them. The calm before the storm. Or after. Or the eye. None of it mattered because the storm had destroyed everything, and now...Ben didn't know how to rebuild.

His back to her, Tess's whispered words sank directly into his soul. She was giving up. They were both tired, and hurt, and ready for the pain to stop. But she was the one giving up. Sure, she'd thought he had first, but that wasn't the point!

She. Was. Giving. Up.

No.

He turned back to look at her, not giving two shits that he looked like hell. Because no matter what he looked like on the outside, the inside was infinitely worse. Words, words, and more words. None of them good, and all of them boiling down to one fact: she was leaving him. For good.

Something in him snapped. All rational thought thrown out the window, he moved over to her, his long strides making it a manner of seconds. Before he could even think about what he was doing, whether she would smack him, or punch him, his hands had moved to her head, bringing it to his own. Forehead to forehead.

"Please, no. No, Tess, please just listen..." He was babbling now, more words. "Don't leave, please. I was an idiot, and I thought...Ah!"

He couldn't keep his hands to himself as he engulfed her, his arms moving around her in any way he could, knowing she would push him away at any second. His words tumbled out.

"I thought we could do it on our own. That...if we kept fighting, that we would be able to make the choice on our own. That we would never get the chance any other way." His breaths were coming fast, on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Please," he whispered, "Don't leave me."

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Wed Oct 01, 2014 5:27 am


Tess' eyes were closed as she finished her question. It was so freeing and yet horrified at the idea that she had all these thoughts swarming in her head. She'd actually decided to quit him, this, them...all these factors were going to be dropped. She loved him, deeply and she always would, but this toxic relationship prevented her from being logical. Love came and went, he didn't give her the security she desperately needed. She needed reassurance that this would work, that those promises and words of love were real, and not for the sake of the moment.

His quick movements were what made her look up in confusion only to notice him coming closer. She began to take a few steps back, unsure about his reason behind it, but as he touched her, she flinched as she felt his hands on her. His forehead pressed against her, his breath so close to hers that it mingled, her heart while aching beat even quicker, making er sick at her own weakness.

"Please, no. No, Tess, please just listen..." He was babbling now, more words. "Don't leave, please. I was an idiot, and I thought...Ah!"

His words meant nothing, how many times had he apologized? How many times had she forgave him only for something bigger to bring them apart. Was it just life telling them to give it up. It seemed so hard to when his cologne hit her senses, the heat coming from his body so close to her and his hands on her. She wanted to push him away, to have room to think.

Trying to shrug away his touches, it seemed only increased his desperation. His hands gripped her shoulders close, then her arms pulling her close, she struggled half-heartedly till they landed on her waist hugging her close, her hands having no choice but to land on his chest.

"I thought we could do it on our own. That...if we kept fighting, that we would be able to make the choice on our own. That we would never get the chance any other way." His breaths were coming fast, on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Please," he whispered, "Don't leave me."


Tears ran down her face and she didn't dare look up at him. She knew that if she saw his eyes she would just let him take her over, his nature so powerful, affecting her by forgetting logic that she cherished so dear.

"We were never together for me to leave you" she whispered softly.

Her hands gripped his shirt, too tired to pull away.

"How many times are we going to do this?" she whispered. "Why can't we just...break?" lifting her head shyly to look up at him seeing his breathing erratic and unlike him.

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:08 am

As much as Ben knew Tess would pull away from him, every effort she made to do so was like a knife in his gut. With the tear stains on her face, and the defeat in her voice, he didn't know how they were ever going to mend. But it didn't mean he wouldn't try.

His hands finally settled at her waist, and he couldn't help but notice how she'd changed since he'd last done this. Even though they'd been speaking again since last spring, it was never close to what he'd wanted. To hold her like this. And now, he couldn't deny that she'd changed over the years. From the young, frightened girl in the common room to the...rather frightening young woman before him. She had more power now than he thought she even realized.

His awe of her didn't last long though, as her proximity aided in calming his breathing just a bit, and his mind cleared past the sheer panic.

"We've always been together, Tess. In here," he moved his one of his hands up to rest on top of hers, over his heart. Maybe she never saw it that way, but there had never been anyone else for him. Even when Eris took his virginity.

He watched as Tess's anger cooled to a low simmer, something else taking over. His free hand, the one not holding hers to him, reached up shakily to wipe at her tears slowly. As he did so, she finally looked up at him, her words tugging at his heart. Ben never thought himself an emotional person until he'd met her. Somehow, someway, she'd come to mean everything to him, and it almost brought him to his knees he was so scared.

Damp from her tears, his thumb brushed lightly under her bottom lip, wishing he could do more. "I would be willing to let you break my heart for the rest of my life. So long as it meant that I could keep you, in some way." He inhaled a shaky breath, his voice soft. "You're all I want, Tess. Whole. Half. Broken. All of it."

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:34 am

Tess closed her eyes as she heard him say those words. It angered her how easily she could let him consume her. It was as if she could just be swallowed whole by his eyes, the way they looked at her with need. Maybe it was just his way of wanting comfort, knowing that she was always following him, loving him, like some lovesick puppy that she tended to be. How many times had she let herself think that maybe this was the last time something like this would happen.

They weren't kids anymore, they were adults, grown people being able to make big life decisions with consequences that weighed over both of them. As his hand cupped hers she gripped his shirt tighter warning him not to push it. They were both harmful to one another; both weakening one another by pulling things from one another and softening them.

"Sometimes it isn't enough" she whispered in return, just tired.

Still she let him caress her cheek, softly, and she closed her eyes just wanting to let herself feel this. She was stupid, weak, and didn't learn from her mistakes. As his thumb brushed against her bottom lip, her lips parted despite herself.

"I would be willing to let you break my heart for the rest of my life. So long as it meant that I could keep you, in some way." He inhaled a shaky breath, his voice soft. "You're all I want, Tess. Whole. Half. Broken. All of it."

And there it was, poetry floating from his lips, to her ears and right to her heart. What she prided herself more than anything was her brain, her logic, her yearning for superiority and what tugged her back to earth, reminding her she was human, was his promises, as stupid as it sounded. The way they soothed her soul, lulled her pain and made her crave him in the deepest part of her soul.

She was a fool, like her beloved violin he played her the tune she wanted to hear. She wasn't perfect, her cracks showing, her anger flowing and her heart crying.

"Prove it to me" she murmured, "how do I know this time it's not bullshit"

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:59 am

She'd said it may not be enough, but Ben honestly didn't know what more there could possibly be. She had his whole heart. And if there was one small part of his being she couldn't have, to be his first, then he'd have to spend the rest of his life making that up to her. If she let him.

His mind was swimming with ideas of forever. Weaving this way and that, the dark parts of his consciousness tugging him to realize something. He could practically see her slipping through his fingers and he was about willing to do anything, give anything, be anything...just to have her stay. Sure, this dingy little flat wasn't near enough for what she was used to, but he'd share it with her all the same. He would even go back to his parents, if...

In a moment, something in him clicked and his heart practically stopped. Yes.

With a strange sense of clarity, like everything had fallen away to leave only this one moment, he slowly sank to the floor on one knee. His hands, that were shaking moments ago, were steady. Taking hers, he pressed a gentle kiss to each of her palms.

"Tess Marie Holmes." His voice, thank Merlin, was steady. Enough, at least. For a single moment, panic threatened to overtake him. He'd never prepared for anything like this. In the pureblood world, marriages were contracts. Facts that the individuals acknowledged. They weren't for love, or at least that's what he was taught. But this...now that she was right here, he couldn't imagine anything else. Ben had laughed at Conner when he'd told him how muggles do this. He wasn't laughing now.

"I know I've hurt you," Not the best start, Watson. "I know there's nothing I can do to go back and change those moments. But...Merlin I wouldn't change a single day with you, Tess. You saved my life," there was a burning in his throat, as he felt the tears coming. Ben tried to fight them back. "More than just that night. You've been saving me this whole time. From a life without love. I'm still new to it, you...you know that. But, if you let me, I will prove it to you. That this time it's real."

His eyes, which had been roaming over her throughout the whole thing, afraid to let his fear show, settled on hers. "Marry me, Tess."

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Thu Oct 02, 2014 1:16 am


Tess believed this was the moment where the line was drawn, throughout their lives she would push him to prove things to her. If they even had a future to begin with, which based on their four years on and off it never started off as solid. When she'd laid her comment, demanding he prove his words, she never expected him to actually do so, perhaps she wanted him to tell her that, he couldn't and it would finally get her silly little dream crushed and forced to reality. Instead there was silence, silence that scared her more than she cared to admit. Her hands began to shake and she realized it was stupid of her to do all of this, to ruin people's weekends and to do this to him.

But as he said her name she froze, surprised he even knew her whole name, let alone use it so formally in this moment. Despite her fears she looked towards him, studying him close, wondering what he was going to do to actually prove what she meant. It seemed forceful, and for that she would apologize at one point in her life, but now she wanted to know.

"I know I've hurt you,"

As he began, her expression formed a scowl at the understatement of the century. His poetry was gone, it seemed and his tact and propriety flew out the window with that simple statement.

I wouldn't change a single day with you, Tess. You saved my life,"

Her bottom lip wobbled at his words continued. Her own eyes studied his expression as he teared up. He rarely did that, rarely did he even show that part unless it was in dire moments and it forced her rooted on her spot as he continued.

"More than just that night. You've been saving me this whole time. From a life without love. I'm still new to it, you...you know that. But, if you let me, I will prove it to you. That this time it's real."

Her throat tightened up and her eyes watered at his words. He'd said them before, about his love about how loveless it was before, but it seemed different now. Time seemed to slow, and everything and nothing existed at this very moment.


"Marry me, Tess."

Tess' stomach twisted and her breath was pushed out as she heard his final statement. I wasn't a question, it wasn't a suggestion, but a mixture of a command and urgency. One that she never expected to have. Engagements weren't played out like this, where was her family approval, where was the formal gowns, ceremonies, documents before something so important occurred. They had just been fighting, she'd declared them over and now here he was promising her a forever one that was sealed by blood.

Worst of all...she had no idea what to say. A life with him was all she everything and nothing she wanted. She wanted him, to be beside him, hold those conversations, intimacy, a promise of forever. Yet she wasn't ready to be tied, she realized once it was happening and in action. She wasn't spontaneous, it wasn't her, but his words did mend a broken part of her that had given up.

But as he stood before her, one knee on the ground, his hands sweaty as he gripped hers almost painfully tight, and his tremors rolling on her, she knew what she would do. Lowering herself, till her own knees, she looked right at him and pulled her hands away, only to place them on his face. Caressing his cheeks softly she gave him a wobbly smile before kissing him.

It wasn't a rushed one, it was rather a languid one that showed him how it had affected her. There was no rush, instead it was a moment of now. She knew it wasn't the answer he expected, and neither was she expecting this reaction, but it seemed right. She in her school uniform out of place and him in his rolled up shirt and the dingy flat. Her hands found themselves into his hair and tugged him back as she needed air.

"I love you" she whispered softly.

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Thu Oct 09, 2014 9:48 pm

Time seemed to stop around them, as Ben looked up into her eyes. He'd known it was a huge leap when his mind made this decision. But it was one he knew he had to make. For them. For everything they'd been through, and that he hoped would never have to be repeated. It was a step in a new direction for them. And the frightening thing was...he wasn't sure if she was willing to take it.

Hope. That was all he had in this moment. But watching the emotions run across Tess's face...there was no telling what she wanted.

It was almost too much, this waiting, and he was moment away from running away in shame. For daring to think she'd accept him. She moved then, to kneel before him, her hands moving to cradle his face and place a gentle kiss on his lips.

Yes! She's saying yes! She- His thoughts were cut short with her words. They were beautiful, and much needed...but they weren't the right ones. Yet, they weren't the wrong ones either. Ben couldn't help hir brow furrowing at his confusion. What does this mean?

Searching her eyes for something, anything, that would help him understand. He tried to tuck away the loose strands of his emotions, tried to reign them in. Gently, he took her left hand from his hair, laying a gentle kiss over her ring finger deliberately.

"That's not a yes, I take it." He tried for a good-natured tone, but he couldn't hide the hurt he felt.

You really thought that was going to work...

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Fri Oct 10, 2014 8:05 pm

Tess knew it wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear, even her own response had surprised her. But it seemed like the right thing. His words, his expression, the longing look in his eyes was enough for her to know he wanted a forever. And she did too, but not now.

Now she got the security she wanted from the man who became her soul mate; one just as damaged yet loving as she was. What frightened her was that try had to fight to get what they wanted, the outcome of forever. They were rarely traditional in their romance it seemed.

At his comment after their lips parted was something that made her frown. It wasn't a rejection necessarily but she needed to let him know where she was.

"It's not a no, it's a not now. I love you, and that's a permanent feeling. I'm making you a promise, next time you ask me, once I graduated,
I'll say yes. How does that sound?" She finished nervously

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Sat Oct 11, 2014 11:28 pm

Her words made sense, of course they did. Ben knew this whole scene, his panicked reaction and desperate pleas, weren't a solid foundation for an engagement. If anything, he may have even scared her a way a bit, acting so irrationally. Honestly, it was hard for him to even know what she saw in him in the first place. Let alone when he was acting...very much un-him.

With his heart a bit deflated, but at least not empty nor jumping out of his chest, Ben tried not to show his sadness. They'd waited so long to get here, it seemed, and those last few months...they would feel like forever.

"Okay, Tess."

His knees were aching now, pressed against the hard wood, and hers probably were too. Letting his body go with gravity, he sat down fulling pulling her to him. Arms wrapping around her in a way that they hadn't in a long time, he sighed as her familiar scent filled his senses. His eyes closed as he tried to slot everything into place mentally.

Just a few more months. How bad can that be? And then... He couldn't even bring himself to think about it. Not when it wasn't true yet. A tiny part of him wondered if the waiting wasn't worse than if she'd said no. But feeling her here. Being able to lay a gentle kiss on her neck, feeling her hair running through his fingers again...

It would be worth it.

"I'll wait as long as you need."

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Sat Oct 11, 2014 11:53 pm

Tess was relieved at the fact that he was taking this better than she expected. As he pulled her closer, she blushed and let herself fall onto him, allowing herself to think everything was okay. It was always like this wasn't it? Despite her anger, despite her bitterness she always ended up loving him a little bit more each time. As he kissed her neck she hummed softly and slid her hands to his shoulders then to wrap themselves lazily around his neck before kissing him softly.

Pulling back she kissed his cheek and smiled at allowing her to have some time. It was going to happen, soon, eventually and she was going to begin to settle down. Perhaps this was a good time to let it happen, and maybe take him to people that mattered.

"I don't know if you know this but...I'm going to my brother's for Christmas and...and I'd love to bring you around to have you meet him properly" she whispered softly, "would that be okay?"

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PostSubject: Re: So Much for Relaxing (Invite Only)   Sun Oct 12, 2014 12:29 am

He'd heard Conner talking about maybe going to their house for the holiday, but he knew the other boy also didn't want to leave him on his own, in their flat. It had been one of those awkward moments between the two, where they were talking about something with a lot of...feelings, yet trying hard not to. This could possibly be the answer to that.

But...Ben could feel himself physically pale. As hard as today alone had been for the pair of them, he didn't know how he would face Prof- Mycroft. Did the man even know he and Tess were involved? Would he permit it? Would Tess let him have a say?

Questions roamed through his head at lightning speed. "Of course," he answered, before anything else could slip out.

He rested his forehead against hers, letting his eyes close. "If you want me there, I'll be there. Always." Pressing a light kiss to the corner of her mouth, he hoped he had the guts to do this. For her.

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Hogwarts, A Future :: Game 6 Archives :: Hogwarts & UK-
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